Uncontrollable Mind

I think too much. That's something I knew since I was like probably 6 years old. I'm constantly thinking. Thinking of what if this should've happened and what if it didn't happen. I guess that explains why I'm not that much of a risk taker when it comes to life. I'll avoid the high risk option and take the option with less risks. Or sometimes I just don't really care... Could be why I suck at gambling...

Finally they increased cars to the Kelana Jaya LRT (PUTRAline)

The Kelana Jaya line (or PUTRA LRT as I'm used to calling it) has finally increased from a two car to a four car train. As a frequent user of this public transport when I'm in Malaysia, all I can say is.... "After 12 years, FINALLY"

Source : TheStar

Song of the month : Blast from the past (December 2009)

I'm gonna start something new in my blog. Every month I'll post a song at least 10 years or older.

Let's start with this since this is the first memorable song I heard today.

If tomorrow never comes~

What happens when you live each passing day thinking if tomorrow never comes?

You stop thinking of the day after tomorrow and beyond that. Live each day like it's your last.

Asian Hairstyles

Typical common hairstyle trends of the asians~

Notable traits :

-Dyed hair (most of them).

-most of them will be chinese/japanese and somehow their face will be pale due to lack of sunlight. (Prevent hair from drying/prevent head from sweating)

-constantly buying hairsprays/hair cements/hair gels where with each use on their hair is equivalent to a full course meal for a child.

-male workers at a hair salon tend to have these hairstyle.

-tend to wear accessories such as rings,bracelets, necklaces and on some occasions earrings.

-tend to wear 'loud' graphic tees

-often mistaken for a vampire from the Twilight books due to their similarities

Life is weird

All of a sudden... since a few blog posts ago....
I started to view the world very differently... It's like I was reborn.
Everything is very strange and unfamiliar... yet it's very familiar... I felt like I just came out of amnesia and I can't remember anything. Yet like some amnesiac's, they remember how to speak, they know how to walk, they know how to drink out of a bottle.

Then again, this could be an after effect of watching Avatar.

1400 pageviews

As of today, right now, this moment, there's about 1,400 page views to my blog. 400+ are from the US alone.

Question is, who's reading?

Counter can be found on the right navigation bar (unless I changed the layout of my blog) and has been there since about September 29

I don't understand earrings

Somehow, it makes a girl more feminine and more attractive....
depending on the number and size of the earrings. 1 pair of small earrings enhances their beauty. 2 is still okay. 3 or more indicates you're trying to turn your ears into an antennae.
I don't understand how by having just one pair of earrings can make a female more attractive. Those small metals/plastics/materials are sending impulses to my head or something....

As for guys... it achieves the opposite effect....
3 or more pairs shows that you enjoy piercing. 2 is inbetween. 1 pair or just one makes me think you're gay. Sorry to say that to those (with 1 pair/1 piercing on one ear) whom I know but I'm sure you've heard me say that the first time you got that piercing of yours.

Snow more

Last year around the finals week, there was a snow storm.
This year 1 week before the finals week, we had a blizzard here in Ames which led to the closure of ISU for one day.

Today, Christmas, we had a snow storm. Everything is white. Yea, it's a white christmas~

Merry Christmas/ Happy Holidays

Semester roundup

I've passed organic chemistry 2!!! Finally done with that class.
Other 2 classes 358(separations) and 421(Process Control) I thought I had done better... but results are still good. As for 406 (Environmental Chemodynamics), I thought results for that class would be horrible. It's a good thing the last exam went well. Along with the fact that my projects for that class scored an A+ :D

I'm ready for next semester!

AVATARRRRRR

Let me just say.
Avatar may have a very cliché story but that's not it's main attraction. It's the experience of a world created by James Cameron.

Watch the movie. Enjoy the experience. Try to watch it in 3D.

To some that might get sick watching things in 3D, the movie was directed with that in mind so you won't have to refocus your eyes too much. The action scenes are unlike other action movies where you are shown a 1 second clip of one camera angle after another.

WATCH IT!!!

Life is like a dream (Very deep thoughts. Read at your own risk)

Yeah I'm putting this note here to avoid whoever's reading my blog to reaching a state of mind which could hinder you from looking at the world the same. So read on at your own risk and don't tell me I didn't warn you.




Another decade gone and 2010 is upon us...

I'm gonna be 24 years old at the end of 2010. It got me thinking. I've been alive for 24 years.
Then it hit me... I have became self aware and conscious of my existence. I realize that I'm probably living a dream. Nothing is predictable. It is at this moment where I try to forget about this and continue to live this life of mine. BUT I can't.

This isn't the first time it has happened to me. The first time I became conscious of my existence was when I was in Primary 6, 12 years old. Yea I freaked out. Started moving my hands and wondering what is my purpose. Why am I brought into this world? After a while. But I was only twelve. I hardly got a grasp of this world just yet. I kinda forgotten about it... until I was 15 years old in form 3. Then I would have occasional self consciousness awareness once in a while but that will never last more than a day.

So this time around wasn't as bad as it seems. As a person who believes that there is no afterlife and that everything just ends, I was emotionless for a period of time. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even have fun or do the things I thought would be fun. I think it was around this time I accepted this life of mine and decided to live life to the fullest as I could. I had lived normally without much worry.

Now, at the end of the semester...I don't know why I did it but I decided to get myself to notice my significant life again. It happened the day after my final exam (Thursday Dec 17th 2009). Really don't understand why I did it but when it happened. I felt empty. Kept thinking I'm nothing but something stuck in this human body. I felt like I don't know anything around me yet everything seems so familiar.

When I'm in this state, it feels horrible. I am unable to live my life normally. I begin to feel like there's not enough time for anything. Phrases like "I've got time to kill", "I've free time" makes me wonder why the hell do I have free time? I should be doing something. Well, that's one good thing that comes out of this. It makes me think much more deeply on how I'm going to spend the rest of my remaining life.

During this state of mind, I tend look around me and feel nothing. Look around while in the car and I still feel emotionless and insignificant. Like as if nothing else matters anymore. Everything feels like a dream. Sometimes I wonder... how am I moving my fingers? How the heck am I walking? This feeling of... cold, hot, warmth. When I expire there won't be anything left of me. No consciousness. When I grow older, I'll be more forgetful. My friends, my experiences, my family.

So let me just say this.

I am thankful for everyone. I am thankful to all my friends I have befriended whether or not I still know you til this day. Most of all, I'm really thankful to my family especially my mom who has worked so hard to bring me to the states. One of my goals is to make sure my mom retires soon and not to worry about me too much anymore. Just wanna let all of you know, even though I don't show it, I love everyone of you and thankful I've met you. You've indirectly made me who I am.
I'm thankful for having a well and healthy body, having all of these worldly possessions, being able to eat well and being alive.


Also, I hope I can get out of this state of mind soon... I'm starting to get extremely paranoid of everything I do and wanted to do which in turn prevents me from enjoying this winter break to the fullest.


And since we're on this topic, I think I should include some religious info as well...
Many of you know that I'm a free thinker... I'm somewhat an atheist. Yea I used to believe that there is a higher power which many would call a "God" but then questions arose.

If God created us, then who created God? My answer is, humans created God out of fear. Humans fear the unknown and thus created God to put them at ease.
Yea, I used to pray to God when I was a kid. Then I realized, God didn't really answer most of my prayers. And then it hit me... hard. Hence, I began realizing this so called "truth" and thus the Primary 6 incident happened when I became self aware of myself.

There are lots of questions which I could ask to challenge what ever religion you believe in... but I do not wish to take away your hope in life. Your religion has thought you how to live your life. Thought you moral values and other stuff which I may or may not know of. It's good that you believe in giving in to whichever God you believe in.

Sometimes I really wish I could believe wholeheartedly that God really exists. It'll make me feel much more at ease but I feel that it'll make me weak. I'll be relying on something which isn't proven. Also, since I have a scientist way of thinking, it's going to be really hard for me to believe in something that isn't proven.

I'm tired and hungry right now. Time to stop right here and hope I can share more of my thoughts in the near future.


PS : I haven't really gone into too much detailed yet regarding my self awareness...



Edit : 26th December 2009
I can't seem to get back to this state of mind... everything is back to normal. Which is kinda scary... you seem to forget that your life is temporary...
I still think about it, and sometimes I try to get myself back into that state of mind.... but I keep stopping myself because I don't want to live my life in fear of the inevitable. Merry Christmas

Edit2 : 29th December 2009

Just remembered why I thought about this. All due to a recurring dream (not the first time I had this dream) of me being in a monorail high up about 10~30m high and it got derailed. Panic can be seen clearly as the train started falling. I was at the very front of the train. The train plunges nose first onto the cement floor. I feel weightless. Then my mind took over. I landed on a soft wall of the train (probably cuz I was sleeping on a soft bed). I looked around. Everyone seems fine with no major injuries. I was unscathed.

So when I woke up. I don't know why I never thought of this the first time I had this dream... but this time I thought. Things don't happen in real life. In real life, you don't walk away from falling 10~30m high. In real life you don't land on a soft material. You crash and burn. And then it hits me again. Should I that had been real, should I had died, what would become of me? I can't predict these things. It just happens. No one knows what the future would hold. Such things... scares me sometimes.

And yea... constant thinking about this subject and having nothing else to do during the break has made me remembered.

Losing track of time

I remember back in school, I would remember what I did based on what school year I am.
Example : I remember what I did when I was in Primary 6, what happened in Form 1/2/3/4/5
But since I came to the states. I can't seem to remember what I did and when an event happened. I remember what I did back in HELP, but not by year/semester. It's just 'back in HELP'.

I remember what I did in the states but I'm getting confused on whether it was within the year or last year. Just yesterday I thought movies such as The Curious case of Benjamin Button or Burn after Reading was released early this year.. but it was last year.

I'm losing track of time. Hence I have this blog. But a blog which isn't updated daily of what I'm doing everyday can only help so much...

That said, back to studying for Organic Chemistry 2 exam.

Snow snow snow

Dec 9 2009
It has snowed for the last 3 days non stop. Today, Wednesday, gusts reaching 45mph (about 60km/h) as well as snow about 11~13" thick (about 30cm+) ISU has decided to cancel classes for the day (a very very RARE occasion)

If you could see the situation outside right now, you wouldn't want to get outside. Respect to those news reporters who have to stand outside this horrible weather.

So... I'm stuck indoors.... I might go outside in the afternoon to make a snowman or two (There's ALOT of snow)

SCAMS SCAMS SCAMS

Again, somehow it is inevitable that some of my friends are still victims of online scams that uses their passwords to log on to their social website account/ messenger account to spread malicious links to those in their friend's list.

Annoyed as hell, I'm glad lifehacker has written up an article on how to prevent those as well as protecting from other forms of scams.

READ THE ARTICLE HERE!!

READ MY VERSION ON HOW TO FIX THIS

I find this quiz accurate and scary...

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.
The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.


http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Merry Xmas (Early wish from my dogs)

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Man marries a video game character

http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/plugged-in/man-marries-a-videogame/1376577

I can't seem to accept that this is even happening... Everytime I read this, my head assploded and my mind just goes blank on how weird can those japanese go...